Brothers!

These pictures are from a couple of weeks ago when Kaden held Kolton for the first time (finally!!) At first he didn't want to hold him but then he was ready. It was such a precious moment. Kaden had this smile on his face that was just so proud. The pictures just don't do it justice. How blessed I am to have these little guys in my life!!
Last Friday we saw the cardiologist for Kolton. They did another echo cardiogram and the doctor said that everything looked OK at this time. What a relief!! We have a follow-up in 6 months just to make sure things are still good. I can't tell you how hard I have been praying for his heart issues to be alright. Thank you God! Before his appt. we met up at a park with Kolton's favorite nurse...Nurse Becky. It was so good to be able to see her outside of the NICU and to show her how much Kolton has grown. I am grateful for this special relationship we have made and think how neat it will be for Kolton to know about once he is older.
We also saw the pediatrician on Monday for Kolton's immunizations. Those are always awful to go to. You would think I would be somewhat used to shots after all we have gone through... but it seems like it actually gets harder! Not only do I have to go through immunizations again but Kolton has to get the Synagis shots every month until RSV season is over (Nov-Mar) We are just waiting on the insurance to get these started. Ugh.
Kolton is now up to 7 lbs 8 oz and is 18 1/2 inches long!! He is growing so fast and is almost on the growth chart! He definitely is a big eater and has been eating every 2 hours. He is even starting to get some rolls on his legs, his fingers are plumping up and his little cheeks are starting to stick out!! Looking at how big Kaden is now makes me realize how in the blink of an eye they grow up so fast so I am trying to cherish every moment!
I also wanted to add that Kolton's reflux or tummy issues seem to be less intense lately. I am not sure if it is due to me "managing" my milk but I think it is helping. I also wanted to let you know in case anyone by chance has a baby with reflux or need to take Prevacid....I was reading the pamphlet for the Prevacid prescription and it had a disclaimer about using Prevacid while taking iron supplements or vitamins with iron (Kolton is on iron for his anemia). I talked to the doc about it and he said that taking those two together can be really harsh on the stomach and actually really irritate the stomach. Why didn't someone tell me this before hand? I wish someone would have told me this with Kaden because he went through so much...it just breaks my heart. I have really learned in the past few years how we really have to advocate for our health care needs including doctors, insurance companies, etc. I'll just leave it at that for now!

More Halloween Pics

Happy Halloween

So for Halloween this year my mom picked up an adorable giraffe costume for Kaden and he wanted absolutley nothing to do with it! A while back she also got him a firefighter hat (which he wears everywhere...even one night he slept with it next to him!) so it was decided that his costume would be a firefighter. Kolton had a little ghost onesie. We spent the weekend with Mammo, Uncle Mike, Auntie Stef and Morgan. We can't really be out in crowds so no harvest festivals for us. Kaden and Morgan did go trick-or-treating around Morgan's neighborhood and they were just too cute together! Since Kaden has been talking a lot about firefighters, fire trucks, sirens, etc. we thought it would be fun to take him to the firestation and see everything. They were really great and let him sit in all of the trucks. Who knows..maybe we have a future firefighter on our hands?? :)

Fall Fun

Here are just a few pictures to share from the past few weeks. Kolton and Kaden have both grown so much. Mimi, Papa and Aunt Brookie are coming for a few days to visit. Fun! Kolton has his cardiology appt. tomorrow so I will try to keep you all updated with that. We are all doing well for the most part. Kolton has been having some tummy troubles the last couple of weeks. We have had some sleepless nights and heartache watching him squirm in pain. My worst nightmare after all we have gone through with Kaden!! I spoke with the doc and he said to try him on Prevacid and after 4 or 5 days we should know if it is reflux if it seems to help. That was the protocol for Kaden too but after that, visits to the pediatric GI, the chiropracter, the elimination diet....etc....we still never really seemed to know what was going on. After about a year and a half he finally got better. I have been going nuts trying to figure this out. I remember with Kaden wondering if maybe my milk was just like poison to him or something but everyone reassured me that this was not true (besides having an allergy to something I had been eating) I did some research about milk, reflux, etc. and I came across this site
http://www.llli.org/FAQ/oversupply.html which totally describes me. If you don't want to check out the site, basically it is about having too much milk, foremilk, etc and how it can make babies fussy, etc. Anyhow....I have decided to go with my gut and try to better "manage" my overabundant milk supply and nursing. So far it has been hit and miss but Kolton's tummy has been a little bit better. I wish that he could talk and just tell me what was wrong! :) I feel like with preemies there are so many issues that often times we have to second guess if it is a normal issue or a preemie issue. Anyhow....enough rambling for now!

Motherhood

So my mom sent me this email and I just had to repost it because it is so true!!



We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually
mentions that she and her husband arethinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking.
"Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all.

I look at my daughter,trying to decide what to tell her.
I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth
classes.I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will
forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"

That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how
sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.

That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best
crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have
to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home,just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at
McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children,issues of independence and gender identity will
be weighed against the prospect that a child molester maybe lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want toassure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her
child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny
stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with
her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find
very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that
is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say.

Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent
prayer for her, and for me, and for all themere mortal women who stumble their
way into this most wonderful of callings.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms.

May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.

- Author Unknown

Big Boy!

We saw the pediatrician this week and Kolton is up to 6 lbs! He had his circumcision which seemed to go OK. He also had his iron levels checked and he is about the same so at least it hasn't gone down. He has to have 2 bottles a day (iron supplement mixed with breastmilk) and he has a hard time keeping it down. I don't even know how he drinks it at all. It smells and tastes horrible! I just hope his anemia will be short-lived so he doesn't have to endure the nasty bottles anymore! He has been having some tummy troubles....usually at night where he is arching, screaming and appears uncomfortable but nothing like Kaden had. It makes me so sad to remember how much pain that little guy went through and I am just glad that Kolton seems to be at peace a bit more. The doctor also discovered that Kolton has an umbilical hernia (in his belly button). He said that he shouldn't need surgery or anything and that in a couple of years it should disappear. He will just have an "outie" in the meantime!
We are all doing well for the most part. I really miss sleep but guess I am used to not having it so this time around the sleep deprivation is not making as crazy (other people might tell you different!) I don't think I ever updated about this a while back but back in March or April the docs thought that Kaden was having seizures. After a lot of tests (MRI's, EEGs, etc) they couldn't find any "true" seizure activity but he was diagnosed with a sleeping disorder. He is on 2 meds to help him and it has definitley improved but lately things have been a challenge again. Anyhow....trying to manage 2 children who are up every couple of hours or more has been rough but I am just trying to take things one day at a time. If I happen to lose my mind at least you will all know why! :)

More pics