Updated Kaden Pics!

Hello Again!

So here I am after 4 long months!! I don't really know why I stopped blogging and my apologies to those who were checking in from time to time to see how things are going. We are all doing well....just taking life day by day and trying to remember to appreciate the simple things!! Kaden is growing up so fast and changes so much everyday. It is truly a blessing that I get to spend so much time with him and be there to see all his little milestones. He finally started walking a few weeks ago and he sure is a busy boy!! He is in to anything and everything and having a ball! He is doing extremely well and I thank God everyday for how fortunate we have been with his health. He still has sleep/tummy issues which is very "trying" at times but I have to say that this has gotten better. He can usually sleep a few hours at night undisturbed (which is better than not being able to sleep for 20 minutes!). Getting him adjusted at the chiropracter has really helped with his reflux (or whatever it is!!) Our ped. offered to refer us to another pediatric gastroenterologist but we have not taken him up on that at this time, as I know the next step would be having him scoped. The doc said this is a "simple" procedure but anything that involves my baby having to be put under is not "simple" to me! I figure since he is growing (25th percentile on growth chart finally!), eating, pooping like normal, etc. that I will hold off in hopes that these sleep/tummy issues might go away. I know I have been hoping that for 18 long months now but I will hold out for a while longer.

As for Kyle and I, we are doing well. Ky continues to work and I can't thank him enough for providing for our family. Doing sales in the lumber industry is a scary place to be right now so we are constantly grateful that he contines to be employed. I have gotten myself back out into the world and have been volunteering every other Wednesday at a hospital working in their Child Life program. Becoming a Child Life Specialist has been my dream job for the last 10 years and I am hoping that by volunteering again that I will get one step closer to my dream! (If you want to know more what Child Life is you can check out www.childlife.org) It has been nice having a day to do my own thing and try to keep somewhat of a professional perspective. Thank you Mom for making this all possible by watching Kaden! I think he likes having a little break from Momma once in a while! :)

As for Betty....she is doing amazingly well. She has completed all of her chemo treatments and just had her last reconstructive surgery. We were able to make 2 trips to visit her during in the last few months and I must say that the only way anyone would know that Betty had cancer was because she had no hair. I can't even imagine the fear and pain and all the other emotions she was going through. She made it easy on everyone else because during this whole time her sparkle never faded. She still was a ball of energy (believe it or not!) full of laughter and smiles. The only thing I can think of is that maybe she had to go through all of this to show everyone else in the world what love, faith and courage can do. Even though she is doing so wonderful I ask that all of you please continue to pray for her and that this will be a journey that is quickly overcome.

I also wanted to ask those of you who believe in prayer to please pray for some friends of ours who have been faced with a variety of challenges in regards to their family. They have endured so much and I just want things to work out for them!!

Ok....so I will try to post more often and I will try to post some updated pics. For some reason I can only post a few pics at a time and I can't write captions under them anymore but I will do my best!

The Pink Ribbon

As most of you know...October is breast cancer awareness month. As many of you know...my mother-in-law Betty was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. (I was given permission to blog about her) CANCER...that dreaded, scary "C" word that you hear about so often and sadly, most all of us know someone who has had it, yet that word will never sit well with me. It still puts a lump in my stomach when I hear it and when we heard that Betty had breast cancer we were shocked (to say the least) and to be honest, we still are. Betty is just one of those people who I think of as invincible. She is someone that nothing like this is allowed to happen to because too many people in life need her. When you are around her she is so full of zest and life... you can't help but be infected by her positive energy. For those that don't know, Betty is a nurse and a caretaker of others. This is just one of her many "hats" that she wears. She is such a loving, caring, dedicated, fun, sincere, honest, very very special person (along with many other traits). Betty has been there for me through some of my most difficult challenges in life...always supporting me, encouraging me, surrounding me in prayer and lifting me up. I am soooo very blessed to have her as my mother-in-law and friend.

Even though we can't physically be there for her, we are constantly thinking of her and praying for her. During this challenging time in Betty's life she is facing her cancer with courage and strength and I just wanted to ask all of you who are reading this to also please pray for her or send some positive thoughts her way. I am a true believer in prayer and I know that she is too. Betty has undergone a double mastectomy and has begun chemotherapy. She is doing extremely well and her spirits remain high.

NICU Reunion

On September 19th we attended Mercy San Juan's 20th annual NICU reunion. I remember last year when we were leaving the NICU with Kaden how excited I was about the thought of someday being able to attend one of these. We finally did! There were a special few people that we were hoping to see....some being nurses, doctors and other "friends" we made during Kaden's 32 day stay. We were fortunate enough to see almost all of them there (there was quite a crowd!) and were able to once again thank them for all that they did for us. They are truly angels who helped saved my son's life and my gratitude towards them will always remain in my heart.

When we saw one of our "favorite" nurses...Kaden was a little shy at first. I then told him that nurse Helen took very good care of him and I think he remembered her because he kept wanting to give her kisses (which he has never done to anyone before besides family)!! It was too cute and brought a tear to my eye! Anyhow....we (Kyle, me, Kaden and Grammy Tess) all had a great time and I was once again reminded of how extrememly blessed we are!! One of Kaden's doctor's joked with us and said "Be careful when he gets older....he will probably try to use the "miracle" baby thing on you to get out of being in trouble!"

September

During the last couple of years, September has decided to make a point to be a very significant month to me. Especially this upcoming weekend. On the 13th, it will be 2 years since my dad passed away. 2 years.....sometimes it feels like an eternity since I have heard his voice and shared a good laugh with him. My dad was the only one who could truly make me "belly" laugh until we both had tears rolling down our cheeks because we were laughing at something totally ridiculous. How I truly miss that. I miss hearing his voice, listening to his words of widsom...and even hearing him rant about politics. I miss his sparkling blue eyes...even when they were giving me the look of "what did you do now?" I miss hugging him and telling him how much I love him. I miss singing and dancing with him in the kitchen listening to Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings. I miss him telling me to "make sure you lock the doors when you're driving" and to "call me when you get home". It's funny how those things that might drive you nuts at one time could be something that you would trade anything in the world to have again.

September 13th is also significant because a year ago on this date is when we finally got to bring Kaden home after 32 long days in the NICU. This past month, everday I have thought "wow...we were driving down to the NICU at this time". I can remember longing to hold Kaden and waiting to hear the doctor reports in anticipation of him coming home soon. And...he finally did with the will of God and I also know that somehow my dad had a major part in this. Although words can't describe how much I miss my dad and long to see him once again, I am able to see him and have a piece of him through Kaden. So many of Kaden's expressions and mannerisms are my dad. It is amazing how each of us carries a part of one another throughout the generations.

September is also very special because on the 15th, Kyle and I will celebrate 2 years of marriage. What an insane first two years. Thank you honey for being the most loving, amazing, supportive, understanding, caring, dedicated husband ever!! I truly don't know how I would get through life without you. Here's to many happy (and let's hope less eventful) years ahead. I love you!

Happy 1st Birthday my sweet boy!!

Wow!!! I can't believe that tomorrow Kaden will be a year old. Where did the year go? Sometimes it seems like just yesterday we were visiting him in the NICU and at other times it feels like forever ago. Looking back, I can remember sitting in the NICU just wondering what Kaden would be like in a year...wondering if he would make it to a year (or just the next day). Now in the blink of an eye that year is here and my little "Mr. Magoo" is growing up. Thinking back to a year ago brings up a lot of memories and emotion. I can vividyly remember when I first walked into the NICU, they had pictures of all the NICU graduates and I couldn't help but wonder what Kaden would look like as a "normal" baby. Now I can't seem to remember what he looked like during his "preemie" days. It's hard to remember him being so tiny and vulnerable because now he is so big and full of zest for life!

As I am sitting here blogging, so many thoughts are running through my mind pondering all that has happened in Kaden's first year of life. If I tried to write them all down it would be waaaay too much so I am just going to keep this short. Most of all, I would like to thank everyone again for all your love and support you have given us this past year(and beyond). You have kept me strong at times of weakness when I wasn't sure I could keep going. Although I still am dealing with our trials and tribulations (and am sure there are many more ahead because that's life right?) I am so very grateful and remember to count my blessings everyday because even though times are hard...we are soooo very fortunate and blessed with many gifts (the most important being Kaden's life). Happy birthday my sweet boy! I love you more than words can ever express!!!

I'm still here!

So....my apologies to those who follow this blog for being a bad blogger. To be honest, I am not sure how many people are still following anyways. Life has been busy lately and also my camera is not working right so I can't download many of my pictures. Anyhow... here is a little update...overall we have been having a lot of fun this summer. On July 19th Kaden was baptized so that was a special day. It was also a special day because it was Grammy Tess' birthday. Thanks for sharing your day with us mom! Also thank you to Mimi for sending us the special gown for Kaden to wear. Last weekend, Aunt Brookie and Conagher were camping in Tahoe and we were able to get away and camp overnight with them. Kaden did great on his first camping trip. He loves the outdoors!! He actually slept better in the tent than he does at home! Speaking of sleep....I seem to have forgotten what sleep actually is. It has been about a year (actually more because I didn't sleep well when pregnant) since I have felt "rested". My definition of rested means having 4-5 (or sometimes even 3) hours of sleep uninterrupted. I honestly can't remember what that was like. For the most part, I think I am functioning OK..that is until I find my car keys in the refrigerator (or just look in the mirror and notice my grey hair, bags under the eyes and wrinkles! Or when I reread this blog and notice all the spelling errors I have made!)

For some reason, Kaden still isn't sleeping without waking every 2-3 hours. Sometimes I feel like burning all the baby books that I have that say "around 6 months your baby should be sleeping though the night"!! We did have a couple of weeks that were miraculous (he only was waking twice during the night). The mystery of his reflux (or whatever is going on) continues! So I think I blogged about seeing the pediatric GI before. We did what we were supposed to do...put him back on Prevacid 2 x a day for 2 weeks and I did the elimination diet. We then took him off the Prevacid for a couple of weeks (I continued the diet) and he seemed to be doing much better. I thought my prayers had been answered and was happy that it was just the diet. At least I could manage that one! Well, out of the blue Kaden's symptoms showed up again and he is now back on the Prevacid (I really hate giving him meds). It has seemed to help but he still just doesn't seem to be himself (and he is wanting to nurse every 2-3 hours at night! Is he nursing because he is looking for comfort or has my milk supply gone down so much from this diet that he is hungry? If I keep letting him nurse like this am I reinforcing this behavior or if I refuse to nurse him am I not comforting his possible pain? These are just a few of the thoughts that seem to consume my mind constantly. Just thinking about this stuff all the time is exhausting on top of being exhausted!) We don't see the GI again until Aug. 20th and have yet to speak to the actual doctor on the phone(we always get the nurse or physicians asst.but when we are paying $500 per visit I want consistency of care! I won't even get started about this and our health care system) Anyhow....prayers are gladly welcome to help us figure this out so my sweet boy (and daddy and mommy) can get some peaceful rest.

On a positive note, I can't believe Kaden will soon be one!! Thinking of this brings up a lot of emotion for me. Mostly gratitude. I am so thankful everyday for being blessed with his life. Every so often I look back at the pictures of when he was first born. For some reason I just can't fathom him being 3 lbs. I have vivid memories of everything yet so much is a blur. I guess I am just used to seeing my big 20 pounder now! He is such a happy, joyful, vivarant soul who truly loves life. He loves people and his face lights up with smiles whenever we are out in public. I remember being so worried that he was going to be a "momma's boy" after being stuck in the house with me for so long!! I guess he was excited to see all that has awaited him! Kaden also has a "fiesty" side and surprises me with this since he is so young. I have to remind myself that it was partly due to his "fiesty-ness" that allowed him to survive. Before Kaden came into my life, I recall other parent's telling me that when you have a child you will experience a love that you could've never imagined before. Now I know what they were talking about. I just can't hug or kiss him enough!! Ok..I am going to sign off since this is turning into a novel. For those that are reading this..thanks....I think this blogging is my way to vent and I was long overdue!